Addiction and Recovery - Defense Mechanisms Distort Reality to Enable Continuing Alcohol & Drug Use

Alcoholics and addicts have defense mechanisms that allow them to distort their perception of reality enough to continue to drink and drug despite the obvious problems caused in their lives by that behavior. Addicts often define "The Problem" as some piece of behavior that is associated with the drinking or using. A common example is being arrested for DUI. Despite uncountable episodes of driving after drinking, and despite a multitude of other life problems associated with the drinking, the alcoholic defines the problem as either the arrest or the actual drinking and driving. They then seek to solve the problem by a conscious effort to not drink and drive. The obvious solution of stopping the drinking, is not considered. An alternative and acceptable solution (to the alcoholic) of not driving after drinking, is based on identification of drinking and driving as the problem.

Quite often, however, people who have a DUI arrest, are in fact, alcoholic. When the alcoholic decides to solve the problem by quitting driving when drinking, they are chasing an illusion of control. This solution assumes that there is no addiction, because if there is addiction, there is loss of control. Although they may intend to follow through with that plan, addiction gets in the way. Alcoholics in treatment often describe a scenario where they made pacts with friends to be the "designated driver". When the "designated driver" gets drunk, someone drunk is probably going to be driving. They are trying to take control over the disease by trying to regain control over the consequences. The rationale is that if you have control over the consequences of the drinking, you have control over the drinking.

Family members often reinforce that rationale and defense mechanisms by focusing on the inappropriate drunken or drugged behavior. They often approach the problem by trying to get the addict to quit misbehaving while drinking/using. They also erroneously believe that if the addict would just act differently when drinking, that their drinking would not be a problem.

Family members tend to view the alcoholic's drugged behavior as something that they are deliberately doing to try to destroy themselves or the family. Neither the alcoholic nor family members understand the effects of mind/mood altering chemicals on the brain, the body, and in various other aspects of a person's life over time.

Family members also usually fail to see the impact of their interactions with alcoholic on their own decisions and behavior. Family members feel compelled to try to take control for the addict, and begin to feel the negative consequences of their own maladaptive behavior. These spouses and parents, fueled by the same defenses, compulsively persist in their same problem solving behaviors despite the fact that those behaviors are not working to change the addict.

That is the parallel between the compulsive behavior of the alcoholic and the compulsive behavior of the family member. The alcoholic's addiction centers on compulsive consumption in the face of negative consequences of that consumption. The maladaptive family dynamics also center on compulsive behavior - the compulsive attempts to gain control over the addict's behavior. This compulsive behavior persists in the face of obvious repeated failure and the occurrence of negative consequences of those efforts.

Defenses operate unconsciously. When you know that you are using defense mechanisms to change how you look at things or what you feel about those things, those defenses do not work. Lying and denial are not the same thing. If you know that you minimize the effects of your drinking on your family members, you cannot comfort yourself with that same defense.