Lots of child experts tell us that we have to ignore bad behavior and encourage and reinforce good behavior. It is not quite as simple as that. However it is true that rather than picking on every little misdemeanour, we can focus on the positive behavior. After all, if inappropriate behavior has gone over the bottom line, then we have to do something about it so that it is very clear that this has happened.
But is your relationship with your child sometimes marred by bad behavior? That can sometimes happen and can make the child feel unwanted. The loving relationship between parent and child must come first. So, in spite of some disruptive behavior, you will be intent on building a bond of affection and will spend time together laughing and playing. The bad behavior is wrong, not the child himself.
It was revealed that many teenage girls got into trouble because they were missing physical affection which they were not getting from their parents or other family members.
It is now a well established principle that when good behavior is rewarded and praised, it receives the necessary positive reinforcement so that it almost comes naturally to the child. Disruptive behavior has some natural consequences and other ones imposed by parents and as that is negative reinforcement, parents hope that it will be eliminated over time.
If bad behavior is an issue at school, it is a great idea to work together with the teacher to try and improve it. All the parties involved should try to improve one or two areas at first. Otherwise everybody will be overwhelmed and everybody can see what sort of progress is being made. But of course, there may be quite different types of behavior issues at school and others at home. But very often, these problems do coincide.
If you heed more help, you can consult parent support groups and parents' blogs and forums. There may be parents support groups run by the church or local community in your area.
If you are looking for a really good behavior modification program to help you through and give you much needed guidance, why not try the one I have recommended below. As it was written and devised by James Lehman after thirty years of experience of dealing with problem children, I am sure you will find that he certainly knows what he is talking about.